Welcome back!
Last week we looked at the primitive brain in teens and how it guides them to make decisions based on minimal effort, avoiding discomfort and instant gratification. Until we are approximately 25 years old, this is our primary source of the brain.
As we continue to grow and our brain continues to develop , we start to gain access to our prefrontal cortex. This part of the brain likes to think ahead, plan and think about our future.
When someone uses their prefrontal cortex to think and make decisions it can positively affect every area of their life.
For example, a teen using that part of the brain might think, "If I want to feel rested for school tomorrow, I shouldn't stay up late on my phone." Or, they might think, "If I want to make the soccer team, I need to practice." "I have a english paper that is due next week. I will start on it this weekend.'
Those are decisions made for your future self. You are thinking ahead to see what is best for you. Those are "mature" decisions made from the prefrontal cortex.
A big part of switching from the primitive to the prefrontal is age and development. You wouldn't ask a toddler to decide what time to go to bed because they simply don't have the brain maturity to know what's best for them. As teens are growing and that prefrontal starts to develop, they need to become more aware of things.
When I work with teens we talk about the two parts of the brain and the awareness of them both. Just knowing and understanding what is going on can help them to start consciously deciding which brain to use. It also helps them to understand the difference that consciousness can make in their lives.
I'll share with you an example I give when I am presenting to parents and teens. Imagine you are in a room with a toddler. In the room there is a big table loaded with junk food. It has donuts, candy, chips, soda, pizza...all sorts of eye appealing things. If we left the toddler alone in the room, he would probably make himself sick on the junk food. He would try everything and eat way too much. He is making decisions from his primitive brain. Everything tastes great (instant gratification) is right in front of him (minimal effort) and there is no "discomfort" of emotions because no one is telling him no. He doesn't understand that in a few minutes he will feel awful and have a stomach ache. So as the adult in the room, you would manage all of that for him. You might say, "You can have a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but not everything." You would use your prefrontal brain to think ahead for the toddler and make the best decisions for him. Our teens are that toddler but they are starting to have the ability to be the adult in the room.
In week 3 of this series, we will look at some of the challenges of the two brains dueling for attention!
Stay tuned for more!
Here to help,
Jen
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Hi, I am Jen, owner of JCM Life Coaching. I love helping people in all ages and stages of life but I specialize in working with teens and moms. Follow me for helpful tips on parenting and life in general.
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